1 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,608 Heads up! Good defense! 2 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,235 Good defense! 3 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,950 Hmm! 4 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,099 Oh. 5 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,918 We're going downtown. 6 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,306 Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt. 7 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,099 What do you want? 8 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:26,229 HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon? Alrighty, then. I have a package for you. 9 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,775 It sounds broken. 10 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:35,739 Most likely. I'll bet it was something nice. This is an insurance form. 11 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,158 If you'll just sign here, here, and here... 12 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:41,494 ...initial here, we'll get the rest of the forms to you as soon as we can. 13 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,334 That's a lovely dog you have there, sir. 14 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,045 - Do you mind if I pet him? - I don't give a rat's ass. 15 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,047 Alrighty, then. 16 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,768 Oh, brother. 17 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,020 That's fine. I can finish the rest. 18 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:10,857 You just have yourself a good day. Take care now. Bye-bye, then. 19 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,330 Excuse me! HDS! 20 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,415 HDS! Coming through! 21 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,084 Got a package, people! 22 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,058 Get away from the door. 23 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,106 What's the matter with you? I said, get! 24 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:57,737 Son of a bitch! 25 00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,949 That was a close one! 26 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,283 Unfortunately... 27 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,870 ...in every contest, there must be a loser. 28 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,833 Loser. 29 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,675 Hungry, fella? 30 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,681 There you go. 31 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:32,480 No problem. It gets flooded. We'll just wait a few seconds. 32 00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:35,733 Or we can try it now. 33 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,068 Putz! 34 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,361 Come on! 35 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,864 Get out! Get out! 36 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,661 Warning: Assholes are closer than they appear! 37 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,543 Uh, you wanna give me a push while you're back there? 38 00:04:55,588 --> 00:04:57,672 Alrighty, then! 39 00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:02,343 Ha, ha! It's alive! 40 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,262 It's alive! 41 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:52,644 My little baby, come here. You missed Mommy, didn't you? 42 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:57,315 Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you? I won't let him. No, I won't. 43 00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:02,654 He can keep the big TV, but he's not gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. 44 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,368 Thank you, Mr. Ventura. 45 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,164 How can I ever repay you? 46 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,749 A reward would be good. 47 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,045 There is some damage to my car, and I had to fill it with premium. 48 00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,593 Would you like for me to take your pants off instead? 49 00:06:26,971 --> 00:06:29,639 Gee, let me think. 50 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,224 Sure. 51 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,395 Whoa, jeez. 52 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,398 Oh. For the love of Pete! 53 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:43,152 People are real friendly around here. Whoa! 54 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,542 And now, let's meet our contestants. 55 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,252 First... 56 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,687 Ventura! 57 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,399 Yes, Satan? 58 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:48,444 I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else. 59 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,239 Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. 60 00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,243 You owe me rent. 61 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,579 Mr. Shickadance, I told you, you're my first priority. 62 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,375 I'm on a very big case right now. Check this out. 63 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,420 Look at that. That's a true albino pigeon. 64 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:09,006 Some rich guy lost it. He's offering a $25,000 reward. 65 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,217 As soon as I find this bird... 66 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,385 ...you're paid. 67 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,096 I heard animals in there. 68 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,141 I heard them again this morning, scratching around. 69 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,393 I never bring my work home with me. 70 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:21,936 Oh, yeah? 71 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,981 What's all this pet food for? 72 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,734 Fiber. 73 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,820 Wanna take a look inside? Come on! 74 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,780 Come on! 75 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,170 Go ahead. Snoop around! 76 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,434 Well? 77 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,394 Are you satisfied? 78 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:10,234 Just don't let me catch you with an animal in here. That's all. 79 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:11,736 All right. 80 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,280 Take care, now. Bye-bye, then. 81 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,533 Loser! 82 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,479 Come to me, jungle friends. 83 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,539 Roger, let me ask you one question. 84 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,458 How in hell do you lose a 500-pound fish? 85 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,378 What? 86 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,505 I'm sorry, I was just going to say... 87 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,550 ...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal. 88 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,301 Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau. 89 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,054 Don, she didn't mean anything by that. 90 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,599 I don't give a good goddamn about that fish! 91 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:26,227 Fillet it and fast-food it if you want to! 92 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,814 All I give a damn about is winning the Super Bowl! 93 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,693 My athletes have got to have their heads in the right place. 94 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:38,114 Shit, Roger. You've been in this business a long time. 95 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,367 You know how superstitious these players are. 96 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,080 I have a quarterback that's put his socks on backwards since high school. 97 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:50,418 I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed his jockey strap in two years... 98 00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,379 ...because he thinks flies are lucky. 99 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:57,341 I want that fish on that field Super Bowl Sunday. 100 00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,093 Find the fish... 101 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,012 ...or find new jobs! 102 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,140 Why did it happen now, two weeks before the Super Bowl? 103 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,310 I'll tell you, it's those animal-rights activists! 104 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,270 Always out with their signs: 105 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,440 "Animals were born free. Stop torturing Snowflake. " 106 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,734 That fish lives better than they do. 107 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:19,614 The police are checking into the animal- rights groups. Have they called back? 108 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:23,117 No, but I wanted to tell you, when I lost my Cuddles... 109 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,161 ...I hired a pet detective. 110 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,746 A what? 111 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,498 A pet detective. 112 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,878 Thanks, Martha, but we better leave this to professionals. 113 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,297 Well, actually, he was quite good. 114 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:41,177 Pet detection is a very involved, highly scientific process. 115 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,400 Like a glove. 116 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,745 Uh, Mr. Ventura here to see you. 117 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:51,831 Thanks, Martha. 118 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,624 Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. 119 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,126 Pleasure to meet you. 120 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,253 Any trouble getting in? 121 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:01,716 No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. 122 00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,511 - Uh, security's tight Super Bowl week. - Ah. 123 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,472 Why don't you have a seat? I'll get right to the point. 124 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:13,811 Our mascot was stolen from his tank last night. Are you familiar with Snowflake? 125 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,229 Negative. 126 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,108 We got him from Miami. He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin. 127 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,653 This is a new trick he was going to do for the halftime show. 128 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,115 Let's go. Blue 42, blue 42. 129 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,533 Hut, hut. 130 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,747 All right. 131 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,128 Come on, let's go. 132 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,634 Good boy. 133 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,519 Would you like an ashtray? 134 00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,481 I don't smoke. 135 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,816 It's a disgusting habit. 136 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,199 The police came today. 137 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,619 Apparently, the kidnappers came in through the back with a- 138 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,039 Four-wheel-drive van, loaded from the rear. 139 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,042 - Ugh. - Roger, how you holding up? 140 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:22,296 If I'm walking funny it's because I got two dozen reporters up my ass. 141 00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:25,591 They've been asking me about Snowflake all morning. 142 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,845 Who's he? 143 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,515 Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura. 144 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,600 He's our pet detective. 145 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:39,688 Nice to meet you. You came very highly recommended by Martha Mertz. 146 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,315 Martha Mertz? 147 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,151 Oh, yeah, the bitch. 148 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,361 What? 149 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:50,074 Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. 150 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,659 Is that the tank? 151 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,702 Excuse me. 152 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,132 - Cops drain it? - Yes, this morning. 153 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,177 If I'm not back in five minutes... 154 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,887 ...just wait longer. 155 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,364 Captain's log, stardate 23.9... 156 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,992 ...rounded off to the nearest decimal point. 157 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:38,414 We've traveled back in time to save an ancient species from annihilation. 158 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,790 So far... 159 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,295 ...no signs of aquatic life, but I am going to find it. 160 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,756 If I have to tear another black hole, I'm going to find it. 161 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:51,552 I've got to, mister. 162 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,940 Oh, great. 163 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,151 I'll try to head them off. 164 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,361 Ace, get out of the tank. 165 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,238 I just can't do it, captain. 166 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,407 I don't have the power. 167 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,161 People. 168 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,747 I said, get out of the tank now. 169 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:23,626 For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man. 170 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,294 Where's Snowflake? 171 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,505 Snowflake is not available right now. 172 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:33,177 Roger, I've been waiting all day. I got to get a shot of his new trick. 173 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:34,929 What, is he sick? 174 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,030 People, people. 175 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,078 Hmm. 176 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,110 Lassie must be missing. 177 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,239 Hey, Ventura. Ventura. 178 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,366 Make any good collars lately? 179 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,326 Or were they leashes? 180 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,583 Uh-oh. 181 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,713 Homicide, Ventura. 182 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,300 How are you gonna solve that one? 183 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,680 Good question, Aguado. 184 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,348 First, I'd establish a motive. 185 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:06,312 The killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. 186 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,105 Ooh. 187 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:13,360 Then I'd lose 30 pounds porking his wife. 188 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,821 Come on. 189 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,783 Now, kiss and make up. 190 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,372 Excuse me. 191 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,125 I'd like to ass you a few questions. 192 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,169 This is not the time, Ace. 193 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:35,007 If Einhorn come down here and see me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. 194 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:40,387 I can keep him under control. You have to tell me who's on the Snowflake case. 195 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,058 I can't do nothing for you on that. My hands are tied. 196 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,644 All right, that's it. Now it's my turn. 197 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,314 Five minutes alone, that's all I need. 198 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:53,317 Better look alive. Einhorn's on her way down. 199 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,070 - Ooh, bom, ba-bom bom. - Come on, now. Ace, please. 200 00:19:56,321 --> 00:20:00,449 What's that matter? Afraid I'll make a stink? Huh? Come on. 201 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,910 Aguado's working the case, all right? 202 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,079 - Aguado. - Aguado? 203 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,830 Good call. 204 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,166 We're just a little busy now... 205 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:13,253 ...with murderers and burglaries and drug dealers. Things like that. 206 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,465 A missing dolphin isn't exactly a high priority. 207 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,054 Now you've pissed him off. 208 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,475 - Would you give me a break? - I can't hold him much longer. 209 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,726 My boss is coming. 210 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,854 Okay, look. 211 00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,816 We ran a check with local animal-rights groups. 212 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:38,195 We checked out the taxidermists and we already checked on van rentals. 213 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,657 So far, nothing, nathin', nada. All right? 214 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,159 Any unusual bets being made? 215 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,412 Of course. This is Super Bowl. 216 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,248 - What'd you find out about the tank? - Nothing. 217 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,709 Tire tracks, an escape route. A guard didn't see anything. 218 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,462 - That's it? - I swear. 219 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,924 Now will you please get out of here before I get in trouble? 220 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,096 Thank you for your cooperation. 221 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:07,307 By the way, do you have a mint? 222 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,768 Perhaps some Binaca? 223 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,700 Assholomio 224 00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,786 Osadomia 225 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:34,376 Holy testicle Tuesday. 226 00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,713 What the hell is he doing here? 227 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,548 I came to confess. 228 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,302 I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. 229 00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:48,474 Spare me the routine. I know you're working the Snowflake case. 230 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,644 May I suggest you yield to the experts on this one? 231 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,105 We'll find the porpoise. 232 00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,649 Phew. 233 00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,568 Now I feel better. 234 00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:03,947 Of course, that might not do any good. 235 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:07,701 Nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. 236 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,621 The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout... 237 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,917 ...while the bottle-nosed dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus... 238 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:19,630 ...has an elongated beak, cone-shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. 239 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,591 But I'm sure you already knew that. 240 00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:25,177 That's what turns me on about you. 241 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,012 Your attention to detail. 242 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,598 Listen, pet dick... 243 00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:33,810 ...how would you like me to make your life a living hell? 244 00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:38,148 Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois. 245 00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:40,359 But thank you for asking. 246 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:46,907 Maybe I'll give you a call sometime. 247 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:48,492 Your number still 911? 248 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,577 Alrighty, then. 249 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,035 Excuse me. Is Greg here? 250 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:34,246 Thank you. 251 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,935 What's the password? 252 00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:59,771 New England clam chowder. 253 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,941 Is that the red or the white? 254 00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:06,111 I can never remember that. 255 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,280 White? 256 00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:13,702 Hey, Woodstock. 257 00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:15,871 Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going? 258 00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:19,583 Super, thanks for asking. I hope you're having a lovely day. 259 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,834 Do you? 260 00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:22,294 Don't I? 261 00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:25,297 So what are you up to? 262 00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:28,091 Just watching the fishies. 263 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:31,511 You see those blips? That's a Norwegian whaling fleet. 264 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,599 I'm sending them new directional coordinates. 265 00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:38,060 They'll find Jimmy Hoffa... 266 00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,103 ...before they find any whales. 267 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:44,941 Ha, ha. Gravy. So can you still tap into the aquatic supply stores in the area? 268 00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:46,526 Of course I can. Why? 269 00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,945 I wanna trace the sale of equipment... 270 00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:52,115 ...for transporting or housing a dolphin recently. 271 00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:55,452 Come on, I thought you had a challenge for me. 272 00:24:55,745 --> 00:25:00,457 All right, we got marine winch, sling, feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank- 273 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,752 Wait a minute. Look here. 274 00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:07,881 That's a lot of equipment for a civilian. 275 00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,008 Ronald Camp? The billionaire? 276 00:25:10,259 --> 00:25:12,678 Billionaire and rare-fish collector. 277 00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:16,723 Really? 278 00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,975 That is the face of the enemy. 279 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,979 Always trying to get his greedy hands on endangered species. 280 00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:24,731 Hold on. 281 00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,817 Camp is connected with the dolphins? 282 00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:30,696 That subgenius gave them the land the stadium's built on. 283 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:36,118 And look, he's throwing another "I'm the richest man in the universe" party. 284 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,328 Hmm. 285 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:42,124 Looks like it's time for me to get myself a date. 286 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:52,759 I'm really going out on a limb here. His social events are strictly A list. 287 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:58,014 The date started good, Chuck, but before we got to the party, she tensed up. 288 00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:00,767 If you do anything to embarrass me... 289 00:26:01,018 --> 00:26:02,894 What? Like this? 290 00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:10,944 Ow. Hi, Captain Stubing. 291 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,779 How are Gopher and Doc? 292 00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:15,490 Permission to come aboard, sir. 293 00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:20,036 Woof. 294 00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,636 I'm sorry, ladies. 295 00:26:36,888 --> 00:26:38,472 Melissa. 296 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:41,433 - Hi, Ron. - Glad you could make it. 297 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,185 Thank you. 298 00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:45,812 You look wonderful. 299 00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:47,355 Oh, thanks. 300 00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:49,775 And who is he, a friend? 301 00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:53,945 No, this is- This is my date. 302 00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:57,532 He's a lawyer. 303 00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,911 Does he have a name, or should I call him "Lawyer"? 304 00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:04,539 Ha, ha. Hoo. Ha, ha. 305 00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:06,833 I'm sorry. This is Ace V- 306 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:10,587 - Um, Tom Ace. - Tom Ace. 307 00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:12,214 Pleasure to meet you. 308 00:27:12,423 --> 00:27:14,424 Congratulations on all your success. 309 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,176 You smell terrific. 310 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,346 One of the first lessons we learned... 311 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:20,680 ...back at... 312 00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:26,061 ...Stanford was the growth of food-poisoning claims against wealthy people. 313 00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,648 One could make quite a lucrative law practice... 314 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,107 ...with little else. 315 00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:35,403 How is everybody feeling tonight? 316 00:27:36,197 --> 00:27:38,198 Very, very well, thank you. 317 00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:40,283 Look, honey... 318 00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:42,285 ...there's the hors d'oeuvres. 319 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:44,788 Excuse me. 320 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:53,171 Are you insane? There is no way that Camp stole Snowflake. 321 00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,757 What are you trying to do? 322 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,515 Will you keep him occupied while I work my magic, please? 323 00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:11,022 Smooshy, isn't it? 324 00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:23,702 We got a few cases from my new dealer in Paris. 325 00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,288 Excuse me, Ron... 326 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,540 ...I, uh, need to use the bathroom. 327 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,001 I think it's the pâté. 328 00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:32,627 Sure, it's over there. 329 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:36,882 Thanks. Ha, ha. Stuff probably looks better on the way out. 330 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,052 Oh, God. 331 00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,850 He wasn't feeling well earlier today. 332 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:27,200 Gravy. 333 00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,497 Don't worry, Snowflake. 334 00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,457 Ace Ventura's here. 335 00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,087 Yummy. 336 00:30:58,315 --> 00:30:59,607 Snowflake. 337 00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,777 Here, Snowflake. 338 00:31:04,113 --> 00:31:06,114 I've got a snack for you. 339 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:22,338 They're wonderful, aren't they? 340 00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:25,050 Yes, they certainly are. 341 00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:28,094 No matter what's going on in my life... 342 00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:30,388 ...I can always watch them swim... 343 00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:33,058 ...and be totally at peace. 344 00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:42,067 It's not Snowflake. 345 00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,527 It's not Snowflake. 346 00:31:46,030 --> 00:31:48,698 It's not Snowflake. 347 00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:09,594 Are you sure your date is all right? 348 00:32:09,845 --> 00:32:11,721 It's been an awfully long time. 349 00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:13,306 Who, Tom? 350 00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,809 Well, I'm sure he's fine. 351 00:32:26,529 --> 00:32:28,530 Do not go in there. 352 00:32:29,198 --> 00:32:30,782 Whoo! 353 00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:46,089 I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately. 354 00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:50,426 Do that. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. 355 00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:52,804 I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace. 356 00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,103 What're you doing? 357 00:33:00,354 --> 00:33:01,855 I'm sorry, Ron. 358 00:33:02,106 --> 00:33:03,439 What's he doing? 359 00:33:03,691 --> 00:33:05,066 Let's go. 360 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:09,946 Stop it. 361 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:14,200 I don't even wanna know why your pants are missing. 362 00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:16,244 You could've cost me my job. 363 00:33:16,954 --> 00:33:20,540 So you found a pebble in Snowflake's tank. I'll call CNN. 364 00:33:20,791 --> 00:33:22,959 I found it in the filter, thank you. 365 00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:27,672 And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, triangular cut orange amber. 366 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:31,050 What're you talking about? 367 00:33:31,302 --> 00:33:34,512 Tonight I saw the same stone in Camp's ring. 368 00:33:34,805 --> 00:33:36,890 I thought you said Camp didn't do it. 369 00:33:37,141 --> 00:33:39,559 No, his ring wasn't missing a stone. 370 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:42,770 But whoever was in that tank had a ring just like his. 371 00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:44,856 Ring? What ring? 372 00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,862 The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. 373 00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:56,576 I find the ring with a missing stone, I find Snowflake. 374 00:33:57,745 --> 00:33:59,495 How you gonna do that? 375 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,874 Simple. 376 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:13,551 Loser. Why don't you learn how to drive, pal? 377 00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:16,846 You wanna play? 378 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,766 Whoo, whoo! 379 00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:28,066 Damn it. 380 00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,586 That stone could've come from anywhere. 381 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:55,505 It could've come from... 382 00:36:55,756 --> 00:36:58,716 ...a necklace or a pendant, an earring. 383 00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:03,262 It came from an '84 AFC championship ring. 384 00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:12,230 Einhorn thinks it may have been an animal-rights group. You know FAN? 385 00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:17,652 Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble? 386 00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:19,904 Over half a million members worldwide? 387 00:37:20,114 --> 00:37:22,031 No. Who are they? 388 00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:23,950 Did you know... 389 00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:28,496 ...they sent letters to college teams demanding the release of their mascots? 390 00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:30,248 What do you feed your dog? 391 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,043 Dog food. Why? 392 00:37:34,253 --> 00:37:35,711 He is miserable. 393 00:37:36,255 --> 00:37:37,672 What are you talking about? 394 00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:41,884 He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him. Bad diet, isolated environment. 395 00:37:42,136 --> 00:37:44,220 It's amazing he's still alive. 396 00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:50,476 You're just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn't work out. 397 00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:52,103 You can't express anger. 398 00:37:52,855 --> 00:37:54,939 Yeah? And you're ugly. 399 00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:59,819 I'm not even gonna talk to you. Would you please leave? 400 00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:01,904 Why? So you can beat him? 401 00:38:02,156 --> 00:38:03,197 Fatty. 402 00:38:03,365 --> 00:38:04,657 Heh. You're unbelievable. 403 00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:07,910 Hiring you was the biggest mistake I ever made. 404 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,997 Well, why don't you cry about it, saddlebags? 405 00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:17,503 You like her, huh? 406 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:20,047 Yeah, she's all right. 407 00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:23,634 Melissa. 408 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,684 Look, Melissa, I, uh... 409 00:38:35,355 --> 00:38:39,567 I'm here at the North Beach Towers condo complex in north Miami... 410 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:43,488 ...where Roger Podacter, head of operations for the Miami Dolphins... 411 00:38:43,739 --> 00:38:45,823 ...has apparently committed suicide... 412 00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:49,869 ...allegedly leaping to his death from his 20th-story balcony... 413 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,956 Lieutenant Einhorn of the Miami Police Department has yet to comment. 414 00:38:58,921 --> 00:39:00,379 You okay? 415 00:39:00,756 --> 00:39:03,216 I told you. I was in my apartment... 416 00:39:03,425 --> 00:39:05,218 - ... across the hall. Yes, ma'am. 417 00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,011 - I heard a scream... - Uh-huh. 418 00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,222 ...so I called the manager. 419 00:39:09,765 --> 00:39:13,142 The place was empty, except for the dog. 420 00:39:13,352 --> 00:39:15,895 I opened the balcony door and looked out... 421 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,272 ...splat, bang, pancake time. 422 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:19,857 Okay, thank you very much. 423 00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:24,070 I'm gonna leave one of my cards. If you remember anything else, give me a call. 424 00:39:25,906 --> 00:39:27,281 Hi there, fella. 425 00:39:27,533 --> 00:39:28,950 Have a bad night? 426 00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:41,003 So... 427 00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:43,464 ...animals can sense evil. 428 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,550 Who let Dr. Doolittle in? 429 00:39:45,801 --> 00:39:48,302 Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. 430 00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:52,598 This is police business. We'll let you know if the coroner finds a tick. 431 00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:59,480 Face it- - E, forget it. She's right. 432 00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:00,731 Besides... 433 00:40:00,983 --> 00:40:05,486 ...I wouldn't want someone tracing my steps, pointing out my mistakes. 434 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,335 So... 435 00:40:21,587 --> 00:40:25,381 ...you don't think this is an obvious suicide, Mr. Pet-Detective? 436 00:40:25,966 --> 00:40:30,261 I wouldn't say that. There's plenty of evidence here to support your theory. 437 00:40:30,512 --> 00:40:33,806 Except, of course, for that spot of blood on the railing. 438 00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:40,938 May I tell you what I think happened? 439 00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:42,565 Alrighty, then. 440 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:46,444 Roger Podacter went out after work, had a few drinks, then came home. 441 00:40:46,695 --> 00:40:50,489 He wasn't alone. Someone else was with him. There was a struggle... 442 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,284 ...and he was thrown over that balcony. 443 00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:55,995 Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. 444 00:40:56,371 --> 00:40:57,997 He was murdered. 445 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:02,043 That's a very entertaining story... 446 00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:06,505 ...but real detectives have to worry about that little thing called... 447 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,299 ...evidence. 448 00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:12,720 Uh-oh. I think I heard a toilet flush. 449 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,264 Maybe somebody lost a turtle. 450 00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,394 Well, I... 451 00:41:21,021 --> 00:41:23,356 I guess I'm out of my league here. 452 00:41:24,316 --> 00:41:25,316 Einhorn... 453 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:27,068 Good work. 454 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:29,820 Ooh. Ow. 455 00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:38,329 Oh, there is just one more thing, lieutenant. 456 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:42,083 This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor. 457 00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:44,627 - She said she heard a scream. Right? - Right. 458 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,838 And you had to open the balcony door when you came in? 459 00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:51,592 - That's true. - You're sure you had to open this door? 460 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:52,843 I'm certain. 461 00:41:53,095 --> 00:41:55,096 What's the point, Ventura? 462 00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,723 Only this. 463 00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,823 This is double-paned, soundproof glass. There is no way... 464 00:42:14,074 --> 00:42:17,660 ...she could have heard Podacter scream on the way down. 465 00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:20,246 The scream she heard came from inside... 466 00:42:20,497 --> 00:42:25,376 ...before he was thrown off the balcony. The murderer closed the door upon going. 467 00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:28,212 Yes. Oh, yeah. 468 00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,548 Can you feel that, buddy? 469 00:42:30,716 --> 00:42:32,550 Huh, huh, huh? 470 00:42:32,718 --> 00:42:36,887 I have exorcized the demons. 471 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,600 This house is clear. 472 00:42:43,019 --> 00:42:44,645 - Losers. Get him out of here! 473 00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:48,399 - Losers. Losers. - Let's go, Ace. 474 00:42:49,109 --> 00:42:51,402 Losers. 475 00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:53,904 Come on. 476 00:42:54,114 --> 00:42:55,906 Back to the zoo. 477 00:42:59,161 --> 00:43:00,661 What are you thinking? 478 00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:03,748 This whole thing is connected, somehow. 479 00:43:04,458 --> 00:43:06,876 I want to find that other ring. 480 00:43:08,795 --> 00:43:10,963 Ace, you checked all the rings. 481 00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,382 Receipts? What about receipts? 482 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,301 There's gotta be receipts. 483 00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:27,772 That was pretty impressive, what you did at the apartment. 484 00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:30,191 You don't have to tell me. 485 00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:32,193 I was there. 486 00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:38,157 Maybe you should've joined the police force, become a real detective. 487 00:43:38,408 --> 00:43:40,326 I don't do humans. 488 00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:44,246 You really love animals. 489 00:43:46,041 --> 00:43:47,750 If it gets cold enough. 490 00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:52,296 No, I have a kinship with them. 491 00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:54,048 I, uh, understand them. 492 00:43:56,051 --> 00:43:57,968 Wanna hear something spooky? 493 00:43:58,178 --> 00:43:59,428 Sure. 494 00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:06,477 One time when I was about 12, I had a dream that I was being followed by... 495 00:44:06,728 --> 00:44:08,521 ...a big dog with rabies. 496 00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:10,689 He had these bloodshot eyes... 497 00:44:10,899 --> 00:44:12,733 ...and foam came out of his mouth. 498 00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:18,072 No matter how fast I ran, he just kept gaining on me and gaining on me. 499 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:23,160 Then just before I got to my front door... 500 00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:25,996 ...he jumped and sank his teeth in. 501 00:44:28,041 --> 00:44:29,917 That's when I woke up... 502 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,753 ...and felt the back of my neck. Check that out. 503 00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:37,842 Bastard. 504 00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:41,846 I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. 505 00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:44,431 Want to know why I do this? 506 00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:46,392 I'm not sure anymore. 507 00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:48,102 You better be sure... 508 00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:51,313 ...because once you get inside my head... 509 00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,274 ...there's no turning back. 510 00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:07,162 So, um, ahem... 511 00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:10,082 Are these all? There's only a dozen. 512 00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:12,418 Maybe it's in another file, in the back. 513 00:45:12,669 --> 00:45:14,295 Who the hell is that? 514 00:45:14,713 --> 00:45:15,963 What? 515 00:45:20,010 --> 00:45:21,302 That. 516 00:45:21,887 --> 00:45:23,888 Who the hell is that? 517 00:45:24,556 --> 00:45:27,975 That's Ray Finkle, the kicker. Don't you know who he is? 518 00:45:28,268 --> 00:45:29,518 No. 519 00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,520 Why isn't he in this picture? 520 00:45:35,901 --> 00:45:40,821 This was taken earlier in the year. Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season. 521 00:45:46,202 --> 00:45:49,788 He missed the final field goal in the Super Bowl that year. 522 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:51,665 Cost the Dolphins the game. 523 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:54,335 But he got himself a ring, didn't he? 524 00:45:55,629 --> 00:45:56,879 Definitely. 525 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,965 "Replacement kicker having a great year. " 526 00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:02,927 "Ready for Super Bowl, all-star kicker boasts. " 527 00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:06,513 "Field goal sails wide, Dolphins lose Super Bowl. " 528 00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,600 "The kick heard 'round the world. " 529 00:46:09,851 --> 00:46:13,228 That was Finkle. The Dolphins lost by one point. 530 00:46:14,481 --> 00:46:17,149 Poor guy. 531 00:46:17,359 --> 00:46:19,652 Poor guy with a motive, baby. 532 00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:21,570 Where is he now? 533 00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:25,032 I heard he went back to his hometown in Collier County. 534 00:46:25,909 --> 00:46:29,536 Really? 535 00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:33,874 You're gonna drop me off before you go? 536 00:46:34,793 --> 00:46:37,503 No way. You shouldn't be left alone right now. 537 00:46:37,754 --> 00:46:40,339 It might not be safe at your apartment. 538 00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:42,883 What do you suggest? 539 00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:28,846 Oh, my God. 540 00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:31,390 Oh, my God. 541 00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:34,685 Three times? 542 00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:37,980 I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before. 543 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,524 I must be tired. 544 00:47:44,029 --> 00:47:45,779 Okay, I'm ready again. 545 00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:39,833 Hi. I'm looking for Ray Finkle... 546 00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:42,878 ...and a clean pair of shorts. 547 00:48:43,088 --> 00:48:46,006 What do you know about Ray Finkle? 548 00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:51,220 Soccer-style kicker. Graduated from Collier High, 1976. 549 00:48:51,471 --> 00:48:55,224 Stetson University honors graduate, 1980. Holds two NCAA records. 550 00:48:55,475 --> 00:48:57,059 Most points and distance. 551 00:48:57,268 --> 00:49:00,145 Nickname, "The Mule. " The only pro athlete from here. 552 00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:03,232 And one hell of a model American. 553 00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:11,782 Are you another one of them Hard Copy guys? 554 00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:13,075 No, sir. 555 00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,785 I'm just a big Finkle fan. 556 00:49:16,538 --> 00:49:18,789 This is my Graceland, sir. 557 00:49:19,624 --> 00:49:21,708 Will you put that gun down? 558 00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:25,337 The boy is a fan of our son. 559 00:49:26,548 --> 00:49:28,298 So nice to meet you. 560 00:49:28,550 --> 00:49:30,008 I'm Ray's mother... 561 00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:31,969 ...and this is Ray's father. 562 00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:34,513 It's a real honor. 563 00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:38,100 It's an honor to have you here. 564 00:49:39,769 --> 00:49:42,688 My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. 565 00:49:42,939 --> 00:49:45,440 He'll be so pleased you stopped by. 566 00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:47,860 Are you expecting Ray anytime soon? 567 00:49:48,111 --> 00:49:51,321 - Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute. - Ah. 568 00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:54,700 Would you like some cookies? I just baked them. 569 00:49:54,993 --> 00:49:56,618 Yummy. 570 00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,166 Wow. 571 00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:05,085 Ray Finkle's house. 572 00:50:06,421 --> 00:50:08,046 I can't wait to meet him. 573 00:50:10,592 --> 00:50:12,926 Ray ain't coming home. 574 00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:16,805 But your wife expects him any minute. 575 00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:19,683 She expects him home any minute. 576 00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:24,521 See, the engine's running but, uh, there's nobody behind the wheel. 577 00:50:26,024 --> 00:50:27,149 Eight years ago... 578 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,486 ...our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital. 579 00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,573 And they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff. 580 00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:38,452 It was all that Dan Marino's fault. Everyone knows that. 581 00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:41,997 If he'd held the ball, laces out, like he's supposed to... 582 00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:44,625 ...Ray wouldn't have missed the kick. 583 00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:49,171 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. 584 00:50:49,422 --> 00:50:51,423 Would you like a cookie, son? 585 00:50:53,218 --> 00:50:55,636 Mm. What do you know? 586 00:50:56,179 --> 00:50:58,055 They're little footballs. 587 00:50:58,264 --> 00:50:59,640 Laces out. 588 00:51:01,184 --> 00:51:04,019 When Ray gets back and starts kicking again... 589 00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:06,605 ...he'll never even know he was gone. 590 00:51:06,856 --> 00:51:09,733 I've kept his room just the way he left it. 591 00:51:32,257 --> 00:51:33,590 Oh, boy. 592 00:51:34,175 --> 00:51:36,635 What a sports nut, huh? 593 00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:51,692 - May I? - Oh, yes, by all means. 594 00:51:55,238 --> 00:51:58,532 Five seconds to go here in Super Bowl XVll. 595 00:51:58,783 --> 00:52:00,575 Dolphins trailing the 49ers... 596 00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:04,579 ...by one. This will win the game for Miami. 597 00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:06,498 There's the snap. 598 00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:07,958 Marino holds. 599 00:52:08,209 --> 00:52:09,376 The kick... 600 00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:12,087 ...and it's high. No, it's... 601 00:52:12,297 --> 00:52:17,384 ...no good. Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal. 602 00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:19,511 I don't believe it. 603 00:52:19,721 --> 00:52:21,471 The Dolphins lose. 604 00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:25,892 The Dolphins lose. The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl. 605 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,938 - Melissa, it's Ace. Where are you? 606 00:52:30,189 --> 00:52:33,775 I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor. Where's Marino? 607 00:52:34,027 --> 00:52:35,193 Why? 608 00:52:35,403 --> 00:52:38,572 He's about to join Snowflake. I've gotta know where he is. 609 00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:43,035 He has a commercial shoot at the Bogart Sound Stage. 610 00:52:43,244 --> 00:52:46,330 Call the police. Get extra security over there. Now. 611 00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,540 Ace, what's going on? 612 00:52:49,417 --> 00:52:51,376 Ace. Ace. 613 00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:52,753 Thought I left? 614 00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:56,590 I'm really gonna go this time. 615 00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:07,434 Here we go, folks. Very quiet. 616 00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:08,977 Action. 617 00:53:09,145 --> 00:53:12,856 I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows the value of protection, it's me. 618 00:53:19,030 --> 00:53:22,157 So I take care of the hands that take care of me... 619 00:53:22,825 --> 00:53:24,117 ...with Isotoner gloves. 620 00:53:24,369 --> 00:53:26,286 Cut. Again from the top. 621 00:53:26,496 --> 00:53:27,579 I said, cut. 622 00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,122 Guys, it's a cut. 623 00:53:29,332 --> 00:53:31,708 What the hell are they doing? 624 00:53:31,959 --> 00:53:33,585 That's a cut. 625 00:53:38,674 --> 00:53:41,218 - What is this, a rewrite? - Shut up. 626 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,099 - Where'd they go? - Over there. 627 00:53:47,350 --> 00:53:48,350 Let's go. 628 00:53:55,441 --> 00:53:57,025 Excuse me, gentlemen. 629 00:53:57,276 --> 00:53:58,402 Pet detective. 630 00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:09,579 Come on. What's wrong? 631 00:54:09,789 --> 00:54:11,289 Can't you hit me? 632 00:54:34,814 --> 00:54:36,106 Whew. 633 00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:40,694 Have there been ransom demands? 634 00:54:40,945 --> 00:54:43,405 There's no communication with the kidnappers. 635 00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:45,574 Will the Super Bowl be postponed? 636 00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:47,325 The game is on as scheduled. 637 00:54:47,577 --> 00:54:49,494 Why weren't we told about the kidnapping? 638 00:54:49,704 --> 00:54:52,747 Secrecy was essential. We couldn't risk any interference. 639 00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:56,960 - Are the crimes related? - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. 640 00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,462 Now, if you'll excuse me... 641 00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:03,383 Get me the autopsy on Podacter. 642 00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:06,470 Aguado, send out a memo: No one talks to the press. 643 00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:09,306 And somebody get me some coffee. 644 00:55:09,557 --> 00:55:13,435 Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss a coffee. 645 00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:18,899 Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you'd better be gone. 646 00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:21,568 Is it number one or number two? 647 00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:24,070 I just wanna know how much time I have. 648 00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:29,117 Hey, uh, by the way, I went ahead and solved that... 649 00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:32,329 - ... pesky Snowflake-Podacter-Marino thing. - Oh, yeah? 650 00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:36,708 You ever heard of a former Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle? 651 00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:45,342 All right, Ventura... 652 00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:47,802 ...make it quick. 653 00:55:48,179 --> 00:55:51,306 I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. 654 00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:54,226 It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC championship ring. 655 00:55:54,477 --> 00:55:57,604 It would've been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray missed the kick. 656 00:55:57,813 --> 00:55:59,814 Blames the whole thing on Marino. 657 00:56:00,066 --> 00:56:04,694 We're talking paranoid, delusional psychosis. I saw the guy's room. 658 00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:07,155 Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. 659 00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:10,325 So how does Roger Podacter fit in? 660 00:56:10,868 --> 00:56:15,539 My guess is, Finkle was snooping around. Podacter recognized him. End of story. 661 00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:20,418 As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's number, taught him how to kick a goal. 662 00:56:20,628 --> 00:56:22,462 Finkle took it personally. 663 00:56:24,799 --> 00:56:26,591 So where is Finkle now? 664 00:56:26,801 --> 00:56:31,263 Busted out of a mental institute. He's been plotting his revenge for years. 665 00:56:31,514 --> 00:56:34,182 Waiting for the perfect time to get back at them. 666 00:56:34,392 --> 00:56:36,268 The time when it'd hurt them most: 667 00:56:36,477 --> 00:56:38,645 Super Bowl time. 668 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,273 Man, I'm tired of being right. 669 00:56:45,653 --> 00:56:47,279 Congratulations. 670 00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:51,324 You've done some fine detective work... 671 00:56:53,202 --> 00:56:54,411 ...Ace. 672 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,707 I'm sorry, could you speak into my good ear? 673 00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:01,084 I thought I heard you call me Ace. 674 00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:06,256 Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you are more than just a pet dick. 675 00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:17,100 Your gun is digging into my hip. 676 00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:18,810 What's wrong? 677 00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:21,521 Want me to read you your rights? 678 00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,107 Maybe later. 679 00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:28,403 What is it? 680 00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,238 That bony little bitch... 681 00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:32,198 ...Melissa Robinson? 682 00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,993 You just don't do anything for me. 683 00:57:36,454 --> 00:57:37,704 Down, boy. 684 00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:42,500 Everything okay in here? I heard some commotion. 685 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,544 Fine, sergeant. 686 00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,671 You want me to throw him out? 687 00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:50,008 Why don't you throw yourself out? 688 00:57:52,011 --> 00:57:53,303 Yes, ma'am. 689 00:57:56,557 --> 00:57:59,434 Ace, I want you to leave everything to us. 690 00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:02,937 I can't do that, lieutenant. I was hired to find Snowflake. 691 00:58:03,189 --> 00:58:04,856 When we find Marino... 692 00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:07,150 ...we'll deliver Snowflake. 693 00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:09,486 When I find Snowflake... 694 00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:12,697 ...I'll deliver Marino. 695 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:26,044 Melissa, it's Ace. 696 00:58:26,295 --> 00:58:29,172 What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night. 697 00:58:29,924 --> 00:58:31,925 You have to commit me. 698 00:58:33,094 --> 00:58:36,554 Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. They still have his stuff. 699 00:58:36,806 --> 00:58:39,057 They aren't gonna let us look around. 700 00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:40,392 I know. 701 00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:43,478 It's a good thing I'm a master of disguise. 702 00:58:43,729 --> 00:58:44,771 Mrs. Robinson... 703 00:58:45,106 --> 00:58:47,148 ...I'm Dr. Handly. 704 00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,818 Now who is it you want us to look at? 705 00:58:50,069 --> 00:58:51,319 My brother... 706 00:58:51,946 --> 00:58:53,154 ...Larry. 707 00:58:57,326 --> 00:58:59,869 I'm ready to go in. Just give me a chance. 708 00:59:00,079 --> 00:59:03,039 I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. 709 00:59:03,332 --> 00:59:05,041 Just gotta stay positive. 710 00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:10,380 I'm gonna execute a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo. 711 00:59:38,409 --> 00:59:39,701 Let's see that... 712 00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:41,578 ...in an instant replay. 713 00:59:56,927 --> 01:00:00,221 Your brother won't be the first football pro we've treated. 714 01:00:00,473 --> 01:00:03,183 - Is that right? - Yes, we're very sensitive... 715 01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:05,894 ...to the stress athletes have to endure. 716 01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:08,104 I'm open. I'm open. 717 01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:10,648 I'm open. 718 01:00:11,484 --> 01:00:13,985 We'll do some preliminary evaluations... 719 01:00:14,236 --> 01:00:16,404 ...but I think he'll fit in nicely here. 720 01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,239 Over here. 721 01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:22,160 351. 722 01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:24,412 351. 723 01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,623 Rover, sit. Hut, hut. 724 01:00:29,877 --> 01:00:32,837 He seems to have some difficulty letting go of the game. 725 01:00:33,339 --> 01:00:35,423 Has he had a history of mental illness? 726 01:00:36,884 --> 01:00:38,676 As long as I've known him. 727 01:00:40,596 --> 01:00:43,223 And, uh, this is one of our therapy rooms. 728 01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:47,519 And we do arts and crafts out here in the courtyard. 729 01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:50,647 And this is the storage room. Down the hallway we have another- 730 01:00:51,982 --> 01:00:53,441 Halftime. 731 01:01:07,414 --> 01:01:11,334 He'll be fine there by himself for the next 20 minutes. 732 01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:16,005 - I'll show you the dormitories, then. - Great. 733 01:01:16,882 --> 01:01:20,176 Dr. Hire, please call the page operator. 734 01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:23,429 Dr. Hire, please call the page operator. 735 01:02:20,905 --> 01:02:22,447 Finkle. 736 01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,745 Isotoners. 737 01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,475 Obsess much? 738 01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:53,728 Where are you going? 739 01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:56,981 To clean the storage room. No, clean the cafeteria. 740 01:02:57,191 --> 01:02:59,275 I don't tell you how to do your job. 741 01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:01,152 The schedule says... 742 01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,696 - ... clean the cafeteria. - I know what I'm doing. 743 01:03:03,864 --> 01:03:05,323 You should've done it earlier. 744 01:03:05,574 --> 01:03:08,826 Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass. I'm cleaning in here. 745 01:03:09,036 --> 01:03:11,120 You take breaks too long. You smoke- 746 01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:13,623 Man, you're a pain in the ass. 747 01:03:36,397 --> 01:03:38,898 "Search called off for missing hiker. 748 01:03:39,566 --> 01:03:42,068 A search ended today when rescue workers... 749 01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:45,905 ...were unable to find the body of Lois Einhorn. " 750 01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:49,701 A hiker missing since Friday? 751 01:03:49,952 --> 01:03:51,536 Lois Einhorn? 752 01:03:52,913 --> 01:03:55,540 Holy shitballs. 753 01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,514 What're you doing out here? Get back to work. 754 01:04:11,682 --> 01:04:13,099 Sorry, lieutenant. 755 01:04:41,253 --> 01:04:42,545 "Love, Roger"? 756 01:04:51,096 --> 01:04:52,680 Ace, it's E. 757 01:04:52,848 --> 01:04:55,683 You think the article you found was something? 758 01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:58,436 I got a note from Roger to Einhorn... 759 01:04:58,687 --> 01:05:01,022 ...thanking her for a wonderful evening. 760 01:05:01,273 --> 01:05:03,858 Something ain't stirring the Kool-Aid, man. 761 01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:05,985 Wiggles, rewind. 762 01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:13,534 What the hell does Lois Einhorn have to do with Ray Finkle? 763 01:05:15,329 --> 01:05:16,913 Come on, think. 764 01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:20,291 Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. How? Why? 765 01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:28,966 All right. Here we go. 766 01:05:29,218 --> 01:05:32,428 Answer's right there. Just gotta get blood to the brain. 767 01:05:33,013 --> 01:05:35,681 Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn. 768 01:05:35,891 --> 01:05:38,267 Finkle and Einhorn. Finkle and Einhorn. 769 01:05:42,064 --> 01:05:44,607 Einhorn and Finkle. 770 01:05:45,275 --> 01:05:47,735 Finkle and Einhorn. 771 01:05:52,407 --> 01:05:53,741 Quitter. 772 01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:58,538 What do you want? Huh? 773 01:05:59,373 --> 01:06:01,916 I don't have any food for you. 774 01:06:02,376 --> 01:06:05,044 I have to have money to buy food. 775 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,673 I have to have a dolphin to get money. Do you see a dolphin here? 776 01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:18,391 Let's face it... 777 01:06:18,642 --> 01:06:20,685 ...your master is a loser. 778 01:06:22,271 --> 01:06:23,729 Loo... 779 01:06:37,786 --> 01:06:39,745 What the...? 780 01:06:41,707 --> 01:06:43,624 That's it. 781 01:06:45,794 --> 01:06:47,336 That's it. 782 01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:50,131 Einhorn is Finkle. 783 01:06:50,382 --> 01:06:52,758 Finkle is Einhorn. 784 01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:55,428 Einhorn is a man. 785 01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:58,931 Oh, my God. 786 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:01,726 Einhorn is a man. 787 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:41,432 No! No. 788 01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:00,910 "Your gun is digging into my hip. " 789 01:08:01,870 --> 01:08:03,246 God. 790 01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:09,418 And the big story in this Super Bowl game is the abduction... 791 01:08:09,628 --> 01:08:12,713 ...of Miami's starting quarterback, Dan Marino. 792 01:08:12,965 --> 01:08:16,092 It's gotta be a strain on this Miami team, Bob... 793 01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:57,925 What's the matter, Dan? Aren't you having fun? 794 01:08:58,135 --> 01:09:01,971 I just love Super Bowl Sunday. Don't you, Dan? 795 01:09:02,222 --> 01:09:04,515 A magical afternoon... 796 01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:07,143 ...where dreams are made... 797 01:09:08,228 --> 01:09:09,729 ...and crushed. 798 01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:13,566 Look, if you want tickets, you're going about it the wrong way. 799 01:09:15,110 --> 01:09:18,696 Do I look familiar to you? Does it seem as if we've... 800 01:09:18,905 --> 01:09:21,073 ...met someplace before? 801 01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:24,076 I don't know. I get hit in the head a lot. 802 01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,746 Now the coin toss. 803 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:28,748 Kickoff time. 804 01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:31,375 My favorite thing. 805 01:09:31,543 --> 01:09:34,587 Bob, it looks like Philadelphia has elected to kick off. 806 01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:39,592 Laces out. 807 01:09:40,469 --> 01:09:43,095 With Marino out, they're gonna be putting a lot of pressure... 808 01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:45,264 ...on this replacement quarterback. 809 01:09:48,060 --> 01:09:49,727 And there's the kick. 810 01:09:49,895 --> 01:09:52,855 This year's Super Bowl is under way. 811 01:09:58,862 --> 01:10:02,365 I made some refreshments, Dan. 812 01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:06,160 Would you like some refreshments, Dan? 813 01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:10,498 I'll be right back, Dan. 814 01:10:34,815 --> 01:10:36,816 And it was his wife. Ha, ha. 815 01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:43,697 I don't know how much psycho-woman's paying you, but I'll double it. 816 01:10:43,949 --> 01:10:47,159 Sorry. "Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison. 817 01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:50,121 Snowflake, here you go. Come on. 818 01:10:50,330 --> 01:10:52,039 Check it out, Marino. 819 01:10:52,249 --> 01:10:54,583 I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. 820 01:11:05,011 --> 01:11:07,847 Damn. Go get some more fish. 821 01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:09,723 I'm gonna kill that dolphin. 822 01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,643 Lovely party. 823 01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:14,645 Pity I wasn't invited. 824 01:11:27,159 --> 01:11:29,243 Where the hell's the smelt? 825 01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:39,545 Unconscious. Exactly as I planned. 826 01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:47,094 Hey, Roc? 827 01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:49,388 What the hell was that? 828 01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:01,609 Shit. 829 01:12:07,365 --> 01:12:10,367 What happened? What's going on? 830 01:12:10,619 --> 01:12:13,162 - You okay? - Guess what? 831 01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:14,622 It's naptime. 832 01:12:17,292 --> 01:12:18,751 What a hit. 833 01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:23,005 Heads up. 834 01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:27,134 Hi, Dan. 835 01:12:29,346 --> 01:12:30,471 Who are you? 836 01:12:31,723 --> 01:12:35,142 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I've been sent with a special play: 837 01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:37,019 The quarterback sneak. 838 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:42,316 Penalty. Too many men on the field. 839 01:12:42,943 --> 01:12:44,944 I warned you, Ventura. 840 01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:47,196 Whatever happened to "Ace"? 841 01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:49,198 Good question. 842 01:12:49,783 --> 01:12:54,286 Be careful with that phone. In time, you could develop a tumor. 843 01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:57,248 Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. 844 01:12:57,499 --> 01:13:01,252 Send some men over to the Hallandale yacht basin. 845 01:13:01,503 --> 01:13:03,921 I've got the kidnapper trapped in the warehouse. 846 01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:07,049 It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 847 01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,889 Code 11 in progress, 343 Victorville Road... 848 01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:15,724 ...at the Hallandale basin. 849 01:13:15,934 --> 01:13:19,228 Officer needs backup. Suspect's name: Ace Ventura... 850 01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,064 ...should be considered armed and dangerous. 851 01:13:22,774 --> 01:13:25,442 It's Ace. We gotta break out of here. 852 01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:29,405 Is he in trouble? 853 01:13:29,656 --> 01:13:32,074 Don't worry, if there's one thing I know... 854 01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:34,535 ...there's nothing Ace can't handle. 855 01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:37,454 Don't kill me. 856 01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:40,749 Please. 857 01:13:41,209 --> 01:13:43,502 I'll never tell anyone, I swear. 858 01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,088 - He's who you want. Kill him. - Kill him. 859 01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:49,091 Kill him. He held the ball, remember? 860 01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:50,926 Come on, look at him. 861 01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:52,428 - Crybaby. - Jock. 862 01:13:52,679 --> 01:13:53,804 - Wimp. - Musclehead. 863 01:13:53,972 --> 01:13:55,347 Shut up. 864 01:13:55,599 --> 01:13:59,977 I think I'll kill the dolphin first. I wouldn't want you to miss that. 865 01:14:00,562 --> 01:14:02,354 And there's the snap. 866 01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:05,774 The kick. And it's good. 867 01:14:05,984 --> 01:14:08,902 Good to see somebody who doesn't buckle under the pressure. 868 01:14:13,867 --> 01:14:18,287 What would you know about pressure? 869 01:14:18,580 --> 01:14:21,123 Well, I have kissed a man. 870 01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:26,462 There's never been a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl... 871 01:14:26,755 --> 01:14:29,006 ...than the "kick heard 'round the world. " 872 01:14:29,507 --> 01:14:34,595 I mean, it's clear to me that it was a good hold. Finkle just booted it. 873 01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:37,181 The laces were in. 874 01:14:37,641 --> 01:14:39,266 They were in! 875 01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:01,163 - You like that? - Aah! 876 01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,581 You like that? 877 01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:09,963 And that. And that. 878 01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,893 Having a little trouble with the lady? 879 01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:24,770 You don't understand... 880 01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:26,230 ...she's a- 881 01:15:29,234 --> 01:15:31,151 Get him, Lois. Get him. 882 01:15:35,073 --> 01:15:36,490 Get him. 883 01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:44,206 Shoot him! 884 01:15:46,251 --> 01:15:48,293 - Shoot him! Hold your fire. 885 01:15:50,088 --> 01:15:51,255 Don't shoot. 886 01:15:51,464 --> 01:15:53,716 Put your guns down, or this cop gets it. 887 01:15:54,509 --> 01:15:55,968 I mean it. 888 01:15:56,428 --> 01:15:58,637 She's not joking. 889 01:15:58,847 --> 01:16:00,389 He kidnapped Snowflake. 890 01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:05,227 He killed Roger Podacter and was about to kill Marino and me. 891 01:16:05,645 --> 01:16:07,730 Ho, ho, ho! 892 01:16:08,106 --> 01:16:10,607 Fiction can be fun. 893 01:16:10,859 --> 01:16:13,777 But I find the reference section much more enlightening. 894 01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:15,404 For instance... 895 01:16:15,655 --> 01:16:16,905 ...if you look up... 896 01:16:17,157 --> 01:16:21,618 ...professional football's all-time bonehead plays... 897 01:16:22,162 --> 01:16:25,581 ...you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle... 898 01:16:25,832 --> 01:16:30,461 ...who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVll. 899 01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:37,176 You wouldn't read that Finkle was committed to a mental hospital... 900 01:16:37,427 --> 01:16:40,721 ...only to escape, join the police... 901 01:16:40,972 --> 01:16:44,183 ...and scheme to get even with Marino... 902 01:16:44,434 --> 01:16:46,560 ...whom he blamed for the entire thing. 903 01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:49,772 What are you talking about? 904 01:16:49,981 --> 01:16:54,151 She's not Lois Einhorn. She's Ray Finkle. She's a man. 905 01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:55,444 He's lying. 906 01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:56,987 Shoot him! 907 01:17:00,158 --> 01:17:03,243 Let's just see who's lying, shall we? 908 01:17:03,495 --> 01:17:07,498 Would a real woman have to wear one of these? 909 01:17:13,505 --> 01:17:15,589 Boy, that's really on there. 910 01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:17,841 But tell me this: 911 01:17:18,051 --> 01:17:19,635 Would a real woman... 912 01:17:19,886 --> 01:17:22,095 ...be missing these? 913 01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:30,437 That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend. 914 01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,815 But I doubt very much... 915 01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:37,069 ...if he could find the time during his busy schedule... 916 01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:38,654 ...to get rid of... 917 01:17:38,905 --> 01:17:39,947 ...big old... 918 01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:41,782 ...Mr. Knish. 919 01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:51,124 Oh, boy. 920 01:17:51,543 --> 01:17:53,752 Psst. Psst. Ace. 921 01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:55,379 Come here. 922 01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:59,049 Would you excuse me for just one second? 923 01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:09,059 Ladies and gentlemen... 924 01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:12,563 ...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino... 925 01:18:13,523 --> 01:18:15,524 ...brought new evidence to my attention. 926 01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:16,775 Now... 927 01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:21,029 ...history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive... 928 01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:24,116 ...criminal investigator can be wrong. 929 01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,410 But if I am mistaken... 930 01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:29,746 ...if the lieutenant is indeed a woman... 931 01:18:29,998 --> 01:18:32,291 ...as she claims to be... 932 01:18:32,542 --> 01:18:33,709 ...then, my friend... 933 01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:39,381 ...she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen. 934 01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:42,384 That's why Roger Podacter is dead. 935 01:18:42,594 --> 01:18:45,053 He found Captain Winkie. 936 01:18:54,314 --> 01:18:59,151 Good night. You've been a wonderful audience. Be sure to tip your waitress. 937 01:19:04,115 --> 01:19:06,199 Die, animal boy. 938 01:19:06,993 --> 01:19:08,327 Quick decision. 939 01:19:29,140 --> 01:19:31,892 Loser. 940 01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,275 - Ace. You have any more gum? - Yeah, Dan? 941 01:19:40,526 --> 01:19:44,821 That's none of your damn business. Stay out of my personal affairs. 942 01:19:45,615 --> 01:19:48,241 You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy. 943 01:19:49,786 --> 01:19:52,162 Ladies and gentlemen... 944 01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,206 ...the Miami Dolphins are proud... 945 01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:57,250 ...to welcome back to Joe Robbie Stadium... 946 01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,127 ...our beloved mascot... 947 01:19:59,337 --> 01:20:02,172 ...and the star of our halftime show: 948 01:20:02,382 --> 01:20:04,132 Snowflake. 949 01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:12,724 And now... 950 01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:16,603 ...returning for the second half, the Dolphins' most valuable player... 951 01:20:17,271 --> 01:20:19,481 ...Dan Marino. 952 01:21:05,486 --> 01:21:07,154 Idiot. 953 01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:12,325 Do you know what you've done? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. 954 01:21:12,535 --> 01:21:14,536 Yeah? Blow me. 955 01:21:16,247 --> 01:21:17,581 Really? 956 01:21:32,972 --> 01:21:34,598 The National Football League... 957 01:21:34,766 --> 01:21:39,519 ...would like to offer a special thank you to the man who rescued Dan Marino... 958 01:21:39,729 --> 01:21:41,188 ...and our beloved Snowflake. 959 01:21:41,773 --> 01:21:43,398 A great humanitarian... 960 01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:45,734 ...and a lover of all animals: 961 01:21:46,110 --> 01:21:49,112 Mr. Ace Ventura. 962 01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,616 Get off me! 963 01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:55,577 Get off me!